I've seen it so many times, watched them, witnessed every important moment. And then I thought, I was familiar with it. I could read it, anticipate it. Possibly stop it.

Then it happens again and again, I do things against my plan. I would call it a momentary lapse in any sense of consequence I have left, but then again, it was one too many moments.

Until today, however, I still think it was the lack of willpower. The way I don't follow through my plan, or through anything.